Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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