The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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