her vagine was all disorganized.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
