we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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