WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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