i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
