JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
