There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
