At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
