I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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