I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
love makes seman taste better
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
