Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
