Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
