Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
