maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
