I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
