I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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