xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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