hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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