I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
