Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
sex in a hospital.. check
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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