I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
