I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
