Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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