He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
