That's intense
She is in my trunk
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
