I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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