Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
