He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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