I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I understand Curling. That high.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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