I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just pee around me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
