med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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