I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Acid is not a monday night drug
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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