pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
