I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
