How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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