you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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