I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
