Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
