so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
This is my gift to your gina
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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