Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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