I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
This is my gift to your gina
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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