Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
