pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
