So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
