Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
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