Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
