My pussy is not your playground.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
