Don't you send me to vm
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
