She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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