I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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