what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
